A song from the first album, all the way back in 1999. All of those songs are so dear to me, but this one perhaps carries the most meaning. When the original version was finished, it felt like personal validation. I’d heard this sound in my head that I wanted so bad to realize and that song was, more or less, what I’d envisioned.
Not only that, but it was also recorded with my dear friend Bryan, who had brought his bass over to my small Spokane apartment. We overdubbed his bass part, as I was doing all of my layering with overdubs on that album — no remixing after the fact. I’d record direct to a CD, finalize it and put it in a different player that ran through a mixer. I’d play over the top of it and record to a second rewritable CD. Back and forth over and over. My gear was cheap and my technique was scuffed. But I was so proud of what I’d managed despite not yet having access to proper digital recording.
So now, more than 25 years later, I present a somewhat better realized version. It has been said many times before, but the new versions aren’t meant to replace the originals. While I think I prefer this new version for casual listening, the old one is a record of the person I was when I made it (such as he was), and it will continue to have its place.
Not for nothing, some have noticed there are little lyric tweaks on the .altered tracks — here and there — and this one has more than any prior track. The specific reason is because now that the story is a bit more realized, I have the option to edit the original words to better present the respective part of the narrative it serves. Also, my early reliance on traditional Judeo-Christian concepts of heaven/hell or good/evil seem out-of-place in this story, so I was inclined to find more relevant words and phrasing.
Lyrics:
We meet in a forum of frightened eyes
Under harvest moon and watching skies
An animal controlled, but not so tame
I know who you are but not your name
Through a sea of tiny icelike stars
Voices beyond vision opening our scars
Some predator tenses with skin undone
Foot forward, foot forward, foot forward run
Running on raped land our legs give way
We collapse to our knees, prey for the day
Over shoulders eyes wide and begging
The singing voices on our backs still digging
The voice is mine and eyes mine thus
And I know that we are me as I am us
It’s my own hand that’s pulling my fall
Hand forward, foot forward, foot forward crawl
Creation’s keys, once tight in hand
I’d dropped them to the desperate land
If I should return there I just might
Reclaim that soul I left that night
And in the end we know
The greatest challenge is accepting contentment
But will we be as articulate
When expressing our pleasures
As when we speak our pain?
This blood
This soil
This order deserted
The laws of creation have been subverted
My given charge
Collective, They
This splintered will must run away